Hey Jude, don’t make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
Hey Jude, don’t be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.
And anytime you feel the pain,
hey Jude, refrain,
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Hey Jude, don’t let me down.
You have found her,
now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,
You’re waiting for someone to perform with.
And don’t you know that it’s just you, hey Jude, you’ll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.
Hey Jude, don’t make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then you’ll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.
It all sounds so simple...what if you just don't know how to make it better? To let someone under your skin? I guess I'm the fool that makes my world a bit colder. But why??!! I can't even understand myself, or maybe I can and I don't want to face it.
I know that I can't let anyone come near me...too afraid to lose them. When a guy tells me he likes me I first get attracted, but when I notice I am starting to really really like him I start doing all these weird things. Because of that the guy will get really hurt or confused, causing them to step away from me, so I am also hurting myself. Some people need to cut their arms, just to feel alive or to feel anything...I cut myself up mentally I am just really fucked up sometimes...
Why do I keep hurting the people I like? I mean...I really DO want them in my life and even though I know it's stupid what my mind is doing, it's still happening. It's like I can't turn it off. Everything is fine until I really start to have feelings for a person. I have to build my wall even higher and higher. Not letting anyone try to tear it down...and to make sure of that I put guns on top of my wall...shooting everyone who tries to come close...
I am also noticing at the moment that I get upset more easily...again due to the weather change and the stress from work at the moment. Today I almost got into another argument with that "friend", but I was smart enough to just walk away and meet someone for lunch. My "friend" said that is was ridiculous that I was meeting someone for lunch who works in the building next to ours. I was supposed to be back at 1 for an observation ( I was observing). Normally we have a lunchbreak at 12.15, but because my "friend" and supervisor decided to talk for ages that left me with maybe 10 or 15 minutes left to eat. So when she said that it was ridiculous that I went off to get some food I just told her that was her opinion and not mine and I left...FUCK YOU..WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM GIRL!!!???
I really can't figure her out...telling me I am selfish and being ridiculous, but meanwhile always saying what other people do to her and OMG she reacts soo dramatic to most things. I am trying to let it be her problem, but as we spend a lot of time together I am always facing this problem.
Pff...maybe I should move to the moon.
That would solve a couple of problems for sure :P
1. No more annyoing people
2. Less weight YAY!!! :D
3. No sollicitors at your door
4. Do whatever you want
5. Did I mention less weight??!! Adios scales...no more weighing!!
Hmmm..this moon thing is getting more attractive by the minute!!
She’s taking her time making up the reasons
To justify all the hurt inside
Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes
Everyone’s got a theory about the bitter one
They’re saying
Mama never loved her much
daddy never keeps in touch
That’s why she shies away from human affection
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she’s waiting for the right kind of pilot
To come (and she’ll say to him)
She’s saying
I would fly you to the moon and back
If you’ll be if you’ll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby
She can’t remember a time
When she felt needed
If love was red then she was colour-blind
All her friends they’ve been tried for treason
And crimes that were never defined
She’s saying
Love is like a barren place
And reaching out for human faith is
Is like a journey I just don’t have a map for
So baby gonna take a dive and push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she’s hanging all her hopes on the stars(What a pleasant dream)
just saying
Mamma never loved her much
And daddy never keeps in touch
That’s why she shies away from human affection
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she’s waiting for the right kind of pilot
To come (and she’ll say to him)She’s saying
I would fly you to the moon and back
If you’ll be if you’ll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby...
If you’ll be if you’ll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby...
3 comments:
So why is it that you do understand, but the other persons that call themselves my friend don't?
People do tell me I'm 'too sensitive" those are often the people who aren't sensitive enough.
LOL well that retail thing..I don't care for it much...so if I am an a bad mood they'll know. I am sick of having to pretend everything is good and happy and sunny all the time...
Maybe because we have more in common than we realize? Something really bad happened to me when I was eight, and when I finally told my parents--my own PARENTS--about it when I was 25 and hospitalized for bipolar for the first time, they said, "That happened a long time ago. Just don't think about it."
It's taken me years and years to learn who my real friends are, and--I hate to mention the age thing, but...--there are very few people that I was "friends" with when I was 21 that I'm still friends with today.
Because I've been so depressed and have barely left my apartment these past three years, I'm only now making friends--through hockey and other activities. Right now, though, I know that so far they're just people to hang out with. I think it takes, at the very least, months to develop "real" friendships.
Even though we've only ever chatted online and have never met in real life, we've known each other, what? A year, at least? We've talked about all kinds of stuff, given each other advice. I certainly consider you a friend--definitely more so than the people that I've just met.
Ahhhww Barb, that is so sweet..I definately consider you to be my friend. I can say whatever I want to you, whether it's serious or just messing about and that is what makes people friends...for better or worse ;)I also have a friend that I have known for as long as I can remember and we have been best friend for 7 years. It;s only numbers I know...but as long as it feels right it IS right.
If you ever want to tell me what happened to you when you were 8 feel free to tell me. Something that has made such an impact on you is terrible...and I think it really really sucks that when you finally get the courage to tell your folks that they told you to forget...that is just wrong, really really wrong.
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