Rossi mania!

So...I was at work...unpacking the modelling kits and guess what I found!!??
4 different kinds of modelling kits of Valentino Rossi's bikes!! w00t!! so, I told my boss I'd like to buy them, but haven't got the money yet...so he told me to take them home and pay him later...yipppie!! that was sooo cool! So right after dinner I sat down like a little kid at Christmas and started unpacking them and putting them together. All went very smoothly except for the big one. There are some mistakes, parts don't fit properly, screws get loose real fast etc etc, so I am taking it back to the shop tomorrow and tell my boss. Rather me having this trouble with it than actual customers.

Anyhoo..the 3 little ones are already in my room on the shelf next to the small one I have that looks like the big one in the picture.

I am soooooooooo happy with them!! just thought I'd share it ;)

BOOOOOREDDD

there we go again...gotta love Blogthings when you're bored haha!

You are 80% Capricorn

How Capricorn Are You?

nope you liars :P I am 100% Capi :P

I Believe In a Thing Called Love by The Darkness

"I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day You got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK!" You played it cheesy and campy in 2004, but you know how to rock out.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

So true!! hahaha I still love Blogthings heehee! SWEET!

Big Girls Don't Cry

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone

I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay


Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

The world is flat...

...and I am close to the edge!

God! Who invented guys anyway!!
They say they're gonna call you, but obviously they don't, not even when you send them a text to remember they said they were gonna call you.

But more imortantly...who ever made us women into what we are!!! Why the FUCK am I waiting for a bloody guy to give me a ring, when I know deep down inside he isn't going to call anyway....why am I having trouble getting to sleep because of the very same fact!!
I don't know who invented us women, but he must have been fucking high on drugs when he did so! Makes our body strong enough to get through childbirth...but meanwhile adds this plug-in that she can't sleep over a guy...DUDE YOU MESSED UP, LAY OFF THE DRUGS!!
But anyway, ofcours he also had to add a plug-in which makes you think more and more and more and more about the stupidest things right before you fall asleep, which, ofcourse, makes you even more fucked up before bedtime...I think I have been lying awake for like 3 hours before I could finally get some sleep, waking up early again....naturally.

In the end I decided to text a male friend of mine, of whom I KNOW he will text me back (even if it's a couple of hours after I sent the text). Well, must say that I felt much better after I texted him and finally fell asleep. Like, around 4am I woke up again and saw that my friend had texted me back...he is on holiday and is really enjoying himself...I am really happy for him, because where he is, is one of the nicest places in the world!

Meh....I feel like such an idiot and like I am making a fool of myself. Sometimes I just want to hide away for like a week or so to see if people would even miss me.
*Turn off cellphone
*Keep laptop turned off
*Don't check email
hmm, who knows I might just do that and see if I can find the life I thought I had...because at the moment it doesn't feel like I have a life...

***NOTE TO SELF***
Get a life...quick!

Weeeee Blogthings are back!!

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtfulBut you also haven't stopped thinking of yourselfYou're the perfect blend of independent and caringYou're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

heehee!

Your Passion is Pink!

You're the type of woman that would never get described as passionate... Oh but you can be passionate at times - you just don't let it show. Your passion most shows through in your sweet and optimistic attitude. And chances are, most people are very passionate about you!

What Type of Passionate Woman Are You?

awwww that is nice :D:D now I can go to bed happy knowing this all hahaha

hmm things made sense again :)

Wow....weird how one day you can feel like total and utter shit and how the next day you can feel your top best!!

Today I had to get up early (still bummed though that I missed one of my fav. films last night because I had to get up early...I am soooo sorry Jean-Claude!!) because I had an appointment with my doctor. Sooooo, I went there, waited for like 15 minutes before it was my turn :P and then when it was fi-nal-ly MY turn I was in there for like 5 minutes, got a note for the x-ray people at the hospital and left for work.

So I got to work, told them I had an appointment at 11.20am at the hospital and if it was ok that I'd go there. Well, my boss is like one of the coolest because really nothing is a problem! So...as I was walking home I decided to give one of my friends a call and felt really happy and stuff when I hung up...( I still like being mean :P). So I got home, got my student travel card (whoopee free public transportation for me :P) and went to the busstop. I guess I waited like 5 minutes, then the bus arrived, got to the hospital 5 minutes later, had my x-ray taken, waited for the bus back and then 5 minutes after I was back home! Everything went so smoothly and fast!!

So withing the hour I left for the hospital, had the x-ray taken, came back home, got lunch and got back to work.

Then my boss said I could leave around 3pm, yay! soooooo got back home again and decided to do absolutely nothing hahaha.

Just emailed a bit with my friend, then spent a lot of time IM-ing with a very cute (yeah yeah yeah pimp, gangsta, whatever :P) guy until it was time for him to go. So then I decided to take a nice hot bath, just to relax my muscles a bit. While I was in the bathtub my mother came home and as soon as I came out of the bathroom dinner was ready :D!!

She bought a new tv and even installing that went perfectly fine!!

Now I am just chilling a bit on the sofa, watching some Sex & the City (which rocks!!!) and writing this.

Maybe you'd say it was a boring day, but I wish I had more days like this!! I feel so totally at ease with everything at the moment.

Have been smiling ever since I got back from work...and yeah, that feels good! Thanks!

Stop the world for a day...

How come you can feel full of energy one day and then so bloody tired the next?

I did shit this weekend..nothing at all, had all the time I needed to relax an do nice stuff. I took that chance and did absolutely NOTHING! Exactly what weekends are intended for.

Then today I had to go to school, had to hand in some stuff, take a test and talk to one of my tutors.
Now I am back home and I am literally drained of all energy, mentally aswell as physically. My back and hip hurt, my eyes seem to be unable to stay open for longer than 10 minutes and I felt like crying ever since I left that schoolbuilding.

Maybe it has to do with the talk to my tutor.

I had to ask her if it would be possible to do my next placement in stages, because due to family circumstances I won't be home for two weeks in November. Well, the woman she is, there was a very blurry and confusing answer. She is always confusing everybody, including herself. She told me it would not be possible to take two weeks off school and that I better just sit this semester out and do it next year....EXCUSE ME???!!! I think I said I would be willing to do whatever it takes to make sure I finish this year on time...I already have plans for next year and I am not willing to give those up because YOU can't arrange for something.
Luckily I have my boss (read: mother lol) on my side and she is going to help me do whatever it takes to make sure I can finish my placement and more importantly my course within this academic year.

I guess it's the explaining why I feel I have to go those two weeks what got to me. It reminded me of how much my family has been through and how difficult it has been for all of us. I noticed how difficult I still find it to express myself and how hard it is to explain and say what you feel and think. I was almost in tears when I was talking to her, but managed not to...pfft who cries nowadays anyway...such a sign of weakness! ( I know deep down inside that this is not true, it's not weak, but still I don't allow myself to cry and if I do I hate myself for it time and time again).

I was so pissed off at everything when I left the schoolbuilding I couldn't even think straight...turned on my mp3-player full blast, so I guess the people travelling on the metro and the train with me got a pretty good picture of what music I listen to...fuck them anyway..

I am so done with school and life this way....sometimes I just wish I could stop the world from spinning one day...preferably in the mornings between sleeping and waking, when reality hasn't hit you that hard yet and you seem to be feeling happy I guess.

How great would it be to be able to lie in bed all day, thinking happy and warm fuzzy thoughts about things you are looking forward to, or dreaming about that one guy you fancy or just know that you can fall back asleep and the world will wait for you this one time to wake up and feel better.

My favourite time of day is waking up, being in that twilight zone and just don't let reality in your life yet. It's even better when you're with someone...waking up, turning 'round, hugging your love and fall back asleep like that...all warm, loved, yeah I guess you get the picture.

I Told the sun, not to shine and stay away
I Told the lake, to go dry and wash away
Am I wrong, am I strong, walk away
do I know there are no words to say
Am I yours, Am I mine, anyway
Do I know there are no words

I am the only princess, I'm indestructible
I am winged victory, I am so breakable
I am the distant planet, I am the golden sun
I am the broken pieces, I am the lonely one

Asked the sky, to fall down on you
Asked the night, to be solid proof
Am I good, am I bad, or the same
Am I bad, am I worse, stay away
Is there anything else left to say,
Are there really any words

I am the flying spaceship, Identifiable
I am the perfect lover, tell me I'm loveable
I am the distant planet, I am the purple sun
I am the highest mountain, I am the lonely one

So here's me now, without you
I Turn the lights out, without you
Should I be frightened, without you
Always night now without you

I am the darkest morning, I am the sleeping fool
I am the wandering gypsy, I'm right here next to you
I am the distant planet, I am the golden sun
I am the empty canyon, I am the lonely one

Lonely one

Welcome back!

Haven't been here in a long time! damn!! even forgot my password and everything hahaha

Between January and now I have been away to study abroad, had a serious fling lol and experienced some other shit.

I got back at like end of May, beginning of June and then spend two months being a jobless bum whoopee for me! But then my mother started to nag big time that I should get a job.

So, I applied for 3 jobs in total and worked at two of them (one of which I am still working at). The other two weren't really my thing so with the first one I just cancelled the application procedure and the second one, well I worked for them once and then I told them I couldn't work anymore due to a physical condition, which is connected to my serious fling lol!

So now I am an employee at a toystore near my house, I like it very much and they give me a lot of freedom in doing what I want and the hours I want to work. I haven't even worked there for a month and already they take my input seriously..that feels soooo good!

Now I am just trying to catch up with school a bit and trying to enjoy my last two months of freedom!!

Have been invited by a friend to come over next Saturday and have dinner there (pancakes yummy!!) and then just hang out with her and her friends, watching a film or something like that. Thing is that I have to be home on time again the day after because we have this family outing, big whoop! My aunt and uncle are married for 40 years ( I still don't understand how she puts up with him!!??) now and they decided to do something with their kids and grandchildren, so I wonder...since when am I a kid or grandkid of theirs?

Well I guess it's ok to go, because get to spend time with my two favourite boys in the whole world and everything is being paid for lol so yeah...I'll drag my sorry ass back to my house very early Sunday morning, take a quick shower and act all happy again the remainder of the day ;)

Oh right, now I know you're dying to here about my "serious fling".

I'll refer to him as Mr. X because I am original like that ;)

Mr. X and I met through our course, both being in England at the time. Appearantly the first time I met him I dragged him out onto the dancefloor and made him dance *cracks whip* and yeah, that is according to him, I can't say I remember much about it and I wasn't even drunk!

So, couple of times after that we just talked a lot, I danced a lot lol, because I love to dance, and invited him to my place a couple of times.

Then at one particular Theme night (999 night, similar to 911) at the student bar he was coming on to me like crazy. I'd brought a watergun (no not made out of water, but out plastic and you fill it with water duh) and filled it ofcourse, that's me. So when he came in (totally soaked by the way poor lad) I started to make sure he wouldn't get dry for the remainder of the night :P

At one point I must have let my guard down because he stole my gun from me, the cheek! and started using my own weapon against me, everytime aiming for either my face or my friends south from my face.

When we finally called it truce we were just messing around a bit, not like that you perv, like he was sitting at one end of the couch and me and my friend on the other side. Still, he had a particular look in his eyes and we so took advantage of him. Pretended to kiss eachother (the girl and I) and then touching ourselves and were doing sexy things on the couch...you could tell by the look on his face that we got him turned on haha.

So, crazy stuff aside, he set next to me and we were just observing some couples and he told me:

"You know what would be nicer than that whole bf gf thing, just kissing"

yup literally said that and then tried to kiss me. So uhmm yeah I was very nice, turned my face away when he tried to kiss me, said I was shy :P

Must be honest here, I really don't like kissing in public, especially not when it's a so called "first kiss". He was kind of disappointed and sent me a text after the party if I was really shy or just not interested, well I must admit that I definately WAS interested, couldn't think of anything else than kissing him lol, so yeah I sent him a text back saying that I really was shy.

Proved it to him when he came over a week later and we kissed anyway...it was really nice and stuff, knowing you can having a good time without being in love.

Anyway, one thing led to another and we ended up doing more than just kissing. It was all very nice, just a pity that he wasn't the "I want you now so I'll take you now" kind of guy.

Hey! sometimes a girl just wants a man who takes what he wants ;) so that was kind of a bummer, the rest was just plain nice and fun :) and I am not regretting any of it! :)

So, that ended when I came back home, I was a little bummed at first, but must admit that I am now enjoying my single-life again and am planning on staying single for a while...I'll just see what happens...and maybe in the future I'll meet a cute, nice, funny, charming (messy blonde haired), hot and so on guy who I can hit it off with, even if I have to travel all around the world to meet him ;)

Being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely ;)

FOAD Thursdays!!

Some people!! UGHHHH SOME PEOPLE!!!!! Everyone I know is allowed to bitch about someone....one of my friends ( here she comes again) is always bitching to me about other people...but as soon as I open my mouth she bitches at me!! I should STFU about the person I was bitching about, because that person didn't mean what she said to me...well, fuck that, I can bitch about anyone I want!! Anyway...she's being annoying on and off....and today is ON!! Ok, I was bitched at, then on the bus she has to act centre of attention with our classmates..fine...then after we get back she asked me if we should go to the supermarket, I said I didn't need to..ok...then on the way home she starts to bitch about not going to the supermarket, so another friend says: let's go now then? Bitch remark number ...(fill in yourself): No, it's too late now!! STFU!!! Girl get a clue...as I said before, if you want something done then open your fucking mouth, because with other people than me you don't....but as soon you can use it against me you remember where it is....well, FUCK OF AND DIE!!! DON'T FUCKING BITCH AT ME AND ACT TOTALLY INNOCENT AFTERWARDS.....ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU'LL GET A BITCHFLOOD BY ME AND I HOPE YOU DROWN IN IT!!!!

FOAD Thursdays!!

Where do some people get the nerve from to call others lyers!!!???

Something quite bad happened to my best friend. She dealt with it and tried to move on. Unofortunatly this also had something to do with her now ex-boyfriend. After they broke up she decided to tell him what happened to her ( which took quite some courage) and he reacted ok-ish.
Now, ever since they broke up he's been verbally abusing her, calling her names, pathetic, attention-addict..you name it he said it. He also finds it necessary to pinch her, hold her down on her bed or the couch ( yes due to circumstances they still live in the same house). He is being a total asshole. Whenever my friend decides to ignore some actions, he comes up with new action to hurt her feelings or just hurt her in every sense of the word!!
He is also really being selfish...when he gets all the attention and stuff all is well, when he gets to use my friend for money or attention there is no bad word said...but once she started saying no to him, actually standing up to him then he gets low...like really really low...the shithead!!

Well, anyway, this week he decided to try something new and told her that he though everything she had told him about that bad thing was a lie...a total and utter lie...just her seeking attention from people again. WTF!!! I won't go in to details..but what happened can have a serious impact on women's lives and what he did was just beyond low...

SO DEAR MISTER J. I HOPE THAT SOMETIME SOON YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE WORSE THAN YOU AND WHO TREATS YOU THE SAME WAY AS YOU ARE TREATING MY FRIEND. I WISH THAT YOU ARE TOTALLY DEPENDANT ON THAT PERSON (my friend isn't though) AND THAT THERE IS NO WAY OUT FOR YOU. YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW....

J. FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last one I promise!!

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

oooooh I am an expert kisser!! I must say I have never gotten any complaints :P
Too bad lately there has been a lack of kissing in my life. After I broke up with the ex there has been no-one. Not that I hate being on my own, actually it is kind of nice not having to think of other people's feelings and just mind my own business...do what I want.
But like the next person I do want to feel special and loved and all that mushy shit. I know that I will meet someone eventually...and even if I didn't it wouldn't be the end of the world.

I mean some people act like it is the end of the world when you don't have a partner...I just don't see it that way. I can like a guy and then decide not to do anything with that...I can be just as happy and relaxed on my own. There are always advantages and disadvantages to being single...but at this moment with christmas and everything coming up I don't mind being on my own. No weird family in-law, not having to buy an expensive present for a particular boyfriend...as I am always broke that caused some problems in the past :P

Anyway...I am flu-ish..meaning I have the flu so headachy, sick to my stomach..cry cry boohoo...so done rambling :P I'll continue my happy single talk some other time :P:P

***end of brainfart***

Oh My God!!

Reading the blog of DutchBitch and doing some small tests really got me addicted to them!!! I won't bore you with too many..but I will post the nicest one ( in my opnion)

Your Theme Song is Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

"I like smoke and lightning Heavy metal thunder Racin' with the wind And the feelin' that I'm under" A total independent spirit, you can't be held down or fenced in. You crave the feeling of wind on your face... and totally freedom.

What's Your Theme Song?

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge. In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead! And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in. Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Hmm I should try this more often then *lol*

Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Little Wrapped Presents

You've made Santa a very happy fellow this year. Don't worry - what happens at the North Pole stays at the North Pole!

What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?

You Were Mostly Nice This Year!

Sure, you had your naughty moments... but guess what? Santa was probably sleeping when you were living it up. As far as he's concerned, you've been on your best behavior. So cross your fingers, and you might score good presents.

Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

Shit!!! That guy is soo wrong..but ok by asking wrong questions you get a wrong outcome....

You Are Vixen

Sexy and sultry, you're the one all the other reindeer dream about. Why You're Naughty: That fur pulling spat you got into with Dancer over Santa. Why You're Nice: Because even when you're nice, you're still delightfully naughty!

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

Sinterklaas...

In the fourth century a.d. St. Nicholas (in dutch called "Sinterklaas" or "Sint Nicolaas"; in german called "Sankt Nikolaus") was the bishop of Myra, which is now situated in Turkey. According to the legend, he saved his town from starvation. He is also said to have revived three dead children, and to have offered gifts of dowries to poor girls. Some sources say that he died on the sixth of December in 343. In 1087 his relics were taken to Bari in Italy. It is unclear why, according to the Dutch tradition, he comes from Spain. Possibly it has something to do with the fact that St. Nicholas was the patron of sailors. In the 17th century Holland was famous for its navigation. Maybe by contact with Spanish sailors this myth began. It could also explain why St. Nicholas has "zwarte (black) pieten" to help him because the Moors dominated Spain for several hundreds of years. (Another [more popular] explanation for "zwarte piet" being black is that he has come down the chimneys so often that he can't wash the dirt off.)

His legendary gifts of dowries to poor girls led to the custom of giving gifts to children on the eve of his feast day, 6 December. The companions of St. Nicholas (in Germany and Austria they are called "Knecht Ruprecht" or "Krampus") show the victory over evil. Together with his "pieten" he visits children to punish the evil ones and to reward the good ones. The worst punishment is to be taken to Spain in "zwarte piet's" bag out of which the good children get the sweets (called "pepernoten", "taai-taai", or "schuimpjes") and presents. A less radical punishment is to get the "roede" (rod) instead of presents. Nowadays there are not much evil children any more...

A few weeks before his feastday St. Nicholas comes to Holland (and Belgium) on his steamer with all his "pieten" and the presents which they prepared in Spain during the year. This event can be seen on Dutch television. From his arrival in Holland till his feastday the children can put their shoes in front of the fireplace. During the night St. Nicholas visits all the houses by travelling over the roofs on his horse, traditionally a white/grey (called "Schimmel" in dutch), and "zwarte piet" enters the houses through the chimney to put little presents in the children's shoes. Sometimes the children put straw, carrots and water near the shoe for the horse.

On the eve of his feast day St. Nicholas visits all children. After knocking on the door he gives them a bag full of presents (if they were good children). Early in the morning of 6 December, when he has visited everyone, he leaves and goes back silently to Spain, to come back next year.

Well, we celebrated Sinterklaas at school as well, together with our non-native Dutch classmates ( yes I am also in college, but I work on the side ;) that explains a bit :P). We wrote poems for each other and bought a present to go along with it..or vice versa :P

Here you can read the poem I wrote and the poem that I got together with my present :P:P

Dear Marianne,

Here is a poem,
Presented by Piet,
It is very cheesy,
Like the smell of his feet.

Hair as the sun, eyes as the sea
Who in the world would not want to be?
This girl with a smile that shines so bright,
It would lighten up even the darkest of nights.

A friendly spirit,
And creative mind,
She puts her heart in it,

She’s one of a kind.
Full of cheer,
Never a frown,
It is ever so clear,
She is never down.

Tracy’s her friend,
And when they are able
They seem like two children,
When they spill drinks on the table.

She likes to kiss men,
But also kissed Andra,
I don’t know what to say next,
So, bla bla bla bla

She likes not Milk, she likes not White,
She only wants Dark to bite.
So grab a guy, take your pick,
Spread it out and start to lick!

Sint and Piet

I gave her Chocolate Bodypaint and she said it was the perfect gift for her!! :D:D Yay me :P

So, here comes the poem I got:

It's that time of year, when Sinterklaas decides (once again) if Adriane has been a good girl or not!!!
Adriane has grown a whole year older and has become rather hot!

She went all the way to England to live without her brother and mum,
And as she didn't like the food there, lost most of her bum!

She used to go to the student union with the rest of the class,
And if Sinterklaas was judging her on her dancing skills, she would definitely pass.

Not only is Adriane great at dancing and shaking her ass, she also has become great friends with all of her class!!

Adriane is doing ever so well in school this year,
And when it comes to her assignments, she has nothing to fear!

So Sinterklaas would like to say that he is very proud of you,
And everything you ( in the future) decide to do!

I hope you know who I am,
And if not I don't give a damn!

Don't forget to keep dancing to the tracks of Queen,
Otherwise next year I will be very mean!!!

I liked it :D:D
Anyway, off for some preparation for work tomorrow..yay :(

Is it just me...

...or has the world turned upside down??

The ugly people ( yeah I know, I am superficial) seem to be getting boyfriends or girlfriends like flies are attracted to rotten fruit...pardon my French.

My best friend has an ex boyfriend who is absolutely hideous!! He cheated on my friend with quite good looking girl ( btw my friend is also really goodlooking, so I don't know what she saw in him in the first place) and he broke up with that girl a couple of weeks ago. Now he has got a new girlfriend who is also quite a looker.

It's just that me and my fried are atractive ( yes now I am sounding cocky..fuck that, I don't care I am proud of hwo I look) and both don't have boyfriends. I myself get enough attention, I admit that, but not of the guys I fancy...and the guys I fancy don't pay attention to me :P
But anyway..I just don't get HOW UGLY GUYS GET GOODLOOKING GIRLS!!!!!!

Ohw talking about attention from guys....I have this feeling one of my brother's friends fancies me. And no, this is again not me being cocky, because my mother noticed as well LOL.
But anyway, he has been over here for like the entire week, while before he would occasionally drop by. Wednesday he even stayed here while my brother was away at work. He took up the courage to come and sit next to me LOL and was showing off all the time...agreeing with me on almost everything...hahaha. He is two years younger than I am, but he doesn't mind he says!! He even told my brother he would trade his brother for me any time :P
Anyway, I was at work at my part-time job today and my brother came by with my 80s cds. That friend was with him and I was just telling the girls (my colleagues) about that guy. But he didn't come in to the shop with my bro so I told my brother to go and get him hahaha. We were quite mean, he came in and I said thanks you can go now :P:P He looked soo surprised...but at least the girls understood why I won't date him :P:P

Anyway that's enough for now, he is a nice guy, just not for me, I hope he and my brother will be very happy hahaha.

***end of brainfart***

FOAD Thursdays!!

Hey Jude, don’t make it bad.

Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude, don’t be afraid.

You were made to go out and get her.

The minute you let her under your skin,

Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain,

hey Jude, refrain,

Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.

For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

Hey Jude, don’t let me down.

You have found her,

now go and get her.

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,

You’re waiting for someone to perform with.

And don’t you know that it’s just you, hey Jude, you’ll do,

The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey Jude, don’t make it bad.

Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her under your skin,

Then you’ll begin to make it

Better better better better better better, oh.

It all sounds so simple...what if you just don't know how to make it better? To let someone under your skin? I guess I'm the fool that makes my world a bit colder. But why??!! I can't even understand myself, or maybe I can and I don't want to face it.

I know that I can't let anyone come near me...too afraid to lose them. When a guy tells me he likes me I first get attracted, but when I notice I am starting to really really like him I start doing all these weird things. Because of that the guy will get really hurt or confused, causing them to step away from me, so I am also hurting myself. Some people need to cut their arms, just to feel alive or to feel anything...I cut myself up mentally I am just really fucked up sometimes...

Why do I keep hurting the people I like? I mean...I really DO want them in my life and even though I know it's stupid what my mind is doing, it's still happening. It's like I can't turn it off. Everything is fine until I really start to have feelings for a person. I have to build my wall even higher and higher. Not letting anyone try to tear it down...and to make sure of that I put guns on top of my wall...shooting everyone who tries to come close...

I am also noticing at the moment that I get upset more easily...again due to the weather change and the stress from work at the moment. Today I almost got into another argument with that "friend", but I was smart enough to just walk away and meet someone for lunch. My "friend" said that is was ridiculous that I was meeting someone for lunch who works in the building next to ours. I was supposed to be back at 1 for an observation ( I was observing). Normally we have a lunchbreak at 12.15, but because my "friend" and supervisor decided to talk for ages that left me with maybe 10 or 15 minutes left to eat. So when she said that it was ridiculous that I went off to get some food I just told her that was her opinion and not mine and I left...FUCK YOU..WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM GIRL!!!???

I really can't figure her out...telling me I am selfish and being ridiculous, but meanwhile always saying what other people do to her and OMG she reacts soo dramatic to most things. I am trying to let it be her problem, but as we spend a lot of time together I am always facing this problem.

Pff...maybe I should move to the moon.

That would solve a couple of problems for sure :P

1. No more annyoing people

2. Less weight YAY!!! :D

3. No sollicitors at your door

4. Do whatever you want

5. Did I mention less weight??!! Adios scales...no more weighing!!

Hmmm..this moon thing is getting more attractive by the minute!!

She’s taking her time making up the reasons

To justify all the hurt inside

Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes

Everyone’s got a theory about the bitter one

They’re saying

Mama never loved her much

daddy never keeps in touch

That’s why she shies away from human affection

But somewhere in a private place

She packs her bags for outer space

And now she’s waiting for the right kind of pilot

To come (and she’ll say to him)

She’s saying

I would fly you to the moon and back

If you’ll be if you’ll be my baby

Got a ticket for a world where we belong

So would you be my baby

She can’t remember a time

When she felt needed

If love was red then she was colour-blind

All her friends they’ve been tried for treason

And crimes that were never defined

She’s saying

Love is like a barren place

And reaching out for human faith is

Is like a journey I just don’t have a map for

So baby gonna take a dive and push the shift to overdrive

Send a signal that she’s hanging all her hopes on the stars(What a pleasant dream)

just saying

Mamma never loved her much

And daddy never keeps in touch

That’s why she shies away from human affection

But somewhere in a private place

She packs her bags for outer space

And now she’s waiting for the right kind of pilot

To come (and she’ll say to him)She’s saying

I would fly you to the moon and back
If you’ll be if you’ll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby...

At work and other ramblings

It actually was a nice day at work today...I had much fun.
Was messing about with my colleagues especially after 4.30 pm when people just decided to stop coming in.
I had brought my camera so we made some funny pictures in the last hour. We got everything done very quickly so we could leave 5 minutes after closing time :D

Is it just me or are things starting to seem less funny?
The days are getting shorter, it should be getting colder...still waiting for that to happen though. It is getting darker, more rain even hail now and then. I can imagine people getting winter-depression over that, I mean I get them. But is that only nature's fault? I mean, when it is sunny people seem happier. I think that is just because it is easier for them to act happy when the sun is shining...who will ever notice you being unhappy when the sun is shining...as though people shut their eyes for sorrow when the sun shines brightly.
And then they are the ones that shout that a lot of people have got winter depressions...it's not just that..it's also the fact that people, friends family, colleagues etc. close their eyes in summer and then open them in winter. So I wouldn't call it winter depression, but summer-blindness.
And then if they do notice you being unhappy they might say you are overreacting or similar stuff. How can they say that you are overreacting when they don't know what it is all about themselves?

It's the same as when my father died. People really stuck a knife in my back. They let me down. And then they say I should GET OVER IT. How can someone EVER get over the death of a parent? Ohw wait, even better: Forget about him..WTF!!!??? Who in his/her rightgeous mind would ever tell a friend to forget about their parents!!?? It's like denying you were ever born... The only thing I can learn is to live with it...and that doesn't even mean learn to live with the fact that he is gone, no you learn how to live with the constant pain of having to miss someone you care about so deeply that most people don't even understand.
The thing is, they pretend to care, especially in the beginning, but the shit starts after a month. Then they start telling you that you should be getting over it or they just plainly ignore you. The worst thing someone can say is: But that was already a month ago!!??
Yeah so? That pain will NEVER EVER go away...like I said you may learn to live with it, some may never. But having to miss someone so close...I don't wish it upon anybody, but sometimes some people should feel what it's like..only so that they can shut their stupid faces.
You know, I could go on about this all night, but I won't because it is upsetting me even more by even thinking about it.


***end of brainfart***

So here I am...

Waiting to get going. I have to work in a bit. Luckily for me it is only a 3 minute walk. Not to shabby I should think!!

Last night actually was fun!! My brother was away to an Iron Maiden concert and my mother and I just watched Harry Potter 1. I still love that film, even though some of the acting (think Mr. Potter himself) lacked some quality from time to time :P:P But I must say that all the yound actors have really grown throughout the 4 films!!

Well, that friend and I are on speaking terms again. I thought, what the hell, I'll just talk to her on IM. I know for a fact that she would never make that first move...too stubborn. That is just so typical. People get into arguments because they're stubborn and then ALWAYS simply refuse to make ammends. I don't get that. That is just like my ex, who was always so sure of other people intentionally hurting him or just simply being against him. Everything was someone else's fault, never his own. That is why we got in to a lot of arguments at one point...he just wouldn't accept the fact that someone else could be right for once and that he, duh, was wrong.

Anyway, time's up, better get ready for work...

***end of brainfart***

What is this world coming to...

...when all you do is lie in bed until past noon and then decide to get up and do nothing the rest of the afternoon?


I really was not feeling like doing anything today, so I set my alarm clock and when it went off I turned on my cell phone and texted a friend that I wasn't coming in today ( don't worry, I am not required to come in every day).
So then I closed my eyes and went backto sleep again. When I finally woke up at noon I thought, let's just listen to some radio before I actually get up. Well, that cost me another hour as well. Then I came downstairs to find my brother and his friends playing SingStar on the playstation 2. Ofcourse I joined immediately..anything to keep me from what I am really supposed to do. So, messed around a bit with that...then turned on my computer and messed around on that a bit. I am actually supposed to take a shower and read a book or do some stuff for work, but I really can't make myself at the moment...it's horrible. That's what working all weekend does to you. I really do NOT want to work Sunday's again...it's too much in too short a period.

So I guess I will go and take my shower and start reading that book...

***End of brainfart***

First log

So, this is my first post on my blog.

I am just curious to know how many people actually read this stuff. I mean I've come across some rather interesting blogs on here...quite funny as well actully.

I will introduce myself a bit, but not too much as I want to keep a big part of who I am secret, to avoid problems with people who I know. Sounds weird, but I just need a place to vent from time to time. Those rants can be about people who really piss me off from time to time or just rants about random stuff and random people :P That is why I am calling it brainfarts as well.

Some things just strike you and need to be said without hurting too many people...so maybe this is the place for that.


I really can't stand people who think they are perfect and therefore make you feel imperfect. I mean the kind of people that think they are allowed to whine, rant etc. at you all the time about their problems, because those are what really matters. But when you stand up for yourself you are being selfish and blah!
I mean in my job there is this person(friend, whatever you want to call it) who wants to go on holiday. Perfectly fine by me you know, but there always have to be problems. This person has been talking about that holiday since June or something, still not decided whether or not to go. Then when I make an appointment with an official about some work-related stuff I am being called selfish by that "friend" because I didn't take her holiday into consideration when making that appointment. How am I to take a plan for a holiday into consideration that has NEVER taken any realistic forms??!! This is just the world turned upside down...I am being called selfish because I think my work is important...if she had just booked the damn holiday then I could have taken it into account. Also she was there when the appointment was made...Girl, You have a mouth...USE IT!!!

Tsk, tsk, just because I am standing up for myself I am selfish...ok, well, then I will just shut up forever and let people walk all over me..I think that my "friend" would loooove that..no more problems because I am being selfish then...

Guys, never let anyone call you selfish because you are saying what you think/feel or because you are standing up for yourself...some people are just not worth it...